What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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