Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
