His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
