Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
