he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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