My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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