i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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