Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
