god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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