No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
