so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
