he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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