eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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