I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
