You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
