p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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