He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Small penises have feelings too.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
NoShamevember. You game?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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