oh god the rape fog is back!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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