...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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