i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
