well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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