The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
