I feel like abortions should bother me more
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
