is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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