is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
