I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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