Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
