i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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