i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
