I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
