I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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