Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
