Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
