hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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