My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
