i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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