i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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