The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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