Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
