From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
