It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
