Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
