Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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