Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
