i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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