I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
