bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
