hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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