Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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