I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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